Give a Little Time to Me
by olivia-gail
Summary: "I'm sick of waiting. I mean you're not really going through with this, right? You can't just throw away three years because you have to be the bigger person and all. I get it. I know what you're trying to do, but you're wrong. You're out of line this time. You aren't helping, I need you more than this." Finchel AU
1. Chapter 1

_**Ok, so this kinda picks up after the end of season 3, but it's AU also... I wrote this for a class so i changed some things. I know i haven't written in forever, but this is already done so i promise**** weekly updates.**_

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Six hours and eighteen minutes, but who's counting, right? Yeah, that would be me. I flop down on the empty bed on the bland side of my shared dorm room; my roommate, Cora, has her side covered in pictures, posters, and all her other personal touches. For a split second I think about unpacking some things to cover the unmade bed and vanilla walls, but I quickly shake the thought from my head. Why should I unpack when I'm not staying? Because I know Finn and he'll be back for me by morning, maybe even earlier. Cora is busy chatting away about classes that start tomorrow and all the fun we'll have this semester. I'll admit, at the end of senior year she seemed like the perfect roommate; peppy, outgoing, and organized, just like me. But right now, her positive outlook was driving me up the walls of the small room. And of course her whole side of the room is pink and yellow, the brightest colors she could come up with. Yeah, I have bedding and wall décor to match, but right now I just want to be in my sea of blank until Finn comes to get me, because I swear he will; I know him like the back of my hand. He's perfect. Tall, handsome, popular, and the quarterback of the football team, the classic golden boy. But there is so much more to him than that. How else would he have fallen for the weirdo girl I am? He's way too considerate to just leave me here. He'll come. Soon. He'll be here soon. Just pull yourself together Rachel. Relax.

"So, you think you'll come?" Cora asks.

"Come where?" I reply.

"To the Welcome Freshman party tonight, I've only been talking about it pretty much since we met in May. Where have you been?"

"Oh, umm, sorry," I stumble. "My mind was somewhere else, I guess. But, I think I'll just hang out here." Cora sits on the corner of my dull bed that I'm sprawled out on and places her hand on my knee in comfort.

"Are you ok? You don't seem as excited to be here as you did a few months ago."

"Things change," I snap back and retract my knee from her grasp.

She stutters a little but recovers quickly as she goes back over to her side, "Well, you better perk up, because you have Music Theory first thing tomorrow morning, and I hear the professor is pure evil." I don't respond but my mind is screaming at me that it doesn't matter; Finn will be here before then. I'm doing the math of what time he'll be here if he leaves at a given time; he'll realize pretty quickly that this whole thing was a terrible idea and he'll hop on a train at say, two o'clock. That would put him here at midnight, so I just have to breathe till then. Relax, Rachel, you can do this.

Midnight comes, he's not here. No texts, no calls, nothing. Just nothing.


	2. Chapter 2

I roll over on my still unmade bed and look for Cora's clock in the early morning light. It's eight o'clock. I check my phone, but there is nothing. That's it, I'm sick of waiting. I'm calling him. I dial the all too familiar number and wait for the rings. It goes to voice mail, but that's normal. All of our friends and I used to always pick on him, saying things like, "Why do you even have a phone, you never pick it up?" So, the fact of his voicemail doesn't upset me. I can't help but smile at just the sound of his voice.

"Hey, this is Finn. I can't come to the phone right now, but here comes the beep, you know what to do."

_BEEP_

"Hey, Finn. I know, I know, I'm not supposed to call, but I'm sick of waiting. I mean you're not really going through with this, right? You can't just throw away three years because you have to be the bigger person and all. I get it. I know what you're trying to do, but you're wrong. I know you and I know that you put everyone else before yourself. That's why people love you, but you're out of line this time. I know you think you're helping-" The phone cuts me off and I finish even though I know no one's listening, "But you're not; I need you more than this." I finish through the light tears making wet trails down my face, and flop down on my bed letting my emotions finally, after _nineteen_ hours, take their turn and crying myself back to sleep.

_I know that car; I'd know it anywhere, its Finn's truck. That stupid piece of crap, in a rusty red color that only ran half the time, is where some of my fondest memories take place. I feel the summer heat on my skin as I step out of my front door and approach the truck. The second the door closes, he appears from behind the truck in khaki shorts and a navy polo holding a single yellow rose. We greet each other and he gives me the flower, I look down to my yellow lace dress and make some joke about matching. He laughs, and runs his hand through his hair, obviously nervous. The passenger side door opens for me. He gets behind the wheel and I automatically reach for the radio. I can't help it, I tell him. He laughs and tells me to carry on. When I hit the button REO Speedwagon's 'Can't Fight this Feeling' fills our ears. _

"_Classic rock guy, huh?" I ask as he nods and I begin to sing. In the corner of my eye I can see his lips moving to the lyrics of the song. As the song goes on, he gets a little louder. I catch his eye and he winks at me, I giggle like a little girl and turn the music down._

"_Are you going to tell me where we're going yet?" I ask._

"_Nope, it's a surprise." He gives me his signature half smile._

"_Please, Finn," I shamelessly beg._

"_Nope, sorry Rachel, I don't give in that easy." _

I gasp as a wake up, my body damp from sweat. I roll over onto my back taking a moment to try to slow down my breathing and speak to the empty space above me.

"Oh, the irony."

That dream felt so real, because it was, once upon a time anyway. It was our first date. The first time he kissed me. The first time I felt like I needed someone. What happened to me? I used to be so independent, I didn't need anyone. I had to be that way. When you have your mind so focused on one thing for so long, you tend to keep everything else, including people, out of your way, but sometimes, I guess all it takes is one special person to make you get those butterflies fluttering in the pit of your stomach, and you'll do anything to feel the way they make you feel again. Then you really get to know this beautiful boy and everything's perfect… until it's not. Sadly, I'm at the 'until it's not' part. I turn my head to the almost empty nightstand to see the clock that Cora must have placed there and see it read ten a.m.; I have officially missed my first college class. Suddenly my phone lights up and fills the empty room with a classical piano tune. My heart isn't beating as I reach for my phone, it's him, it has to be, but instead I see my best friend Kurt's smiling face looking back at me.

"Hello."

"Hey, honey," he greets me, "How's the best music school in the county? Everything you'd hoped it would be?"

"I wouldn't know," I reply snarkily, "I've only seen in the inside of the dorm rooms, and from here, it's not so hot. But, how's the most incredible film program ever going?"

He sighs. "It's coming along." He's being short and then we're silent for a moment, and from Kurt you know that's a bad sign.

"So," he begins, "I talked to Finn yesterday. He's really worried about you."

"Oh yeah? So why doesn't he just call me himself?"

"Rachel, we both know that's a bad idea."

"I really don't want to talk about this."

"Ok, we won't then," his voice changes from serious to almost mad. "We'll talk about how you better start getting your little butt to class now. He didn't do what he did so you could just throw away everything you've worked so hard on since you were born."

I sigh only because I know he's right, but also because he's been like this with me a lot lately, snapping at me whether I deserve it or not. I expect him to continue his rant but he goes a little harsher yet,

"I know this is hard on you, but it looks like you're going to have to pick and he didn't let you have the option, so you have to work even harder than ever before. When was the last time you played anyway?" I answer with nothing but a deep breath. "Exactly, you can't give everything up Rachel. He's made the choice for you. Now you both have to live with it."

He hangs up on me before I can make any response. He's right and he knows it, that's the thing with Kurt; he's so great at getting everyone else's lives together. Finn and I had spent so much time together this summer that I haven't really had any major practice time since before my big audition, so I grab my bag and head for a practice room. Unsure of will happen there.

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_**Don't forget; reviews = :)**_


	3. Chapter 3

As a take a seat at the piano, it's like I never stopped, the music just flows from my fingers, almost out of my own control. It takes hitting a wrong note to realize what I was even playing in the first place, but once the realization washes over me, I jerk my hands away from the ivory as if the keys were burning my fingers.

_Coldplay flows through my fingers and fill the empty auditorium with the sounds of the gorgeous piano riff. I'm so wrapped up in the song that I don't hear someone approaching from behind me until I hear the matching guitar chords. I jump out of my seat as my hands fly off the keys. I close my eyes but continue to face the piano, annoyed that I'm being interrupted._

"_Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, I just…I thought…I'm sorry." The unknown visitor stutters through an apology. I turn around to meet the face on the one and only Finn Hudson, the most popular guy in school, the captain of the football team, and a class-A jock, holding a guitar in one hand and running his hand through his hair with the other. I honestly can't believe he actually knows where the auditorium is. He's still rambling when I cut him off._

"_Its fine, I just didn't think anyone would be here."_

"_Sorry, I just was leaving football practice and heard you play and I love the song and I couldn't help myself." I nod in understanding; I know what it feels like to lose yourself in a song every now and again._

_He sticks his hand out, "I'm Finn, Finn Hudson." I just look at the hand jutting in my direction._

"_I know who you are, doesn't everyone?" He sighs and lets his hand fall as I decide to save the kid some of the embarrassment and reciprocate his action._

"_I'm Rach-"_

"_Rachel Berry, I know." He gives me one of those half smiles that make all the girls melt._

"_I didn't realize part of being class president would be knowing everyone's name.," I pick fun at him._

"_Actually, and I know this is hard to believe, but I'm not the class president. I didn't even run. And I know you because I've been to the school concerts; Kurt's my neighbor and a really great friend. And you are really talented." I smile; I'm usually a fan of people who can make jokes about themselves, and I can't help but smile at Kurt and Finn's friendship. I know that they're pretty close because I kind of know Kurt from school art programs that he makes films for. And he complimented me, so that's a plus, but I can't let him make this into a sweet moment. _

"_What?!" I exclaim in fake horror. "The golden boy isn't the class president, this is an outrage! I demand a recount!" He laughs._

"_I'm glad I'm not a total cliché." He takes a seat at an empty chair beside me._

"_Yeah," I smile. "The guitar playing is a pleasant surprise."_

"_Oh no," He cries and takes my hand in both of his and looks deeply into my eyes. "Rachel, you can't tell anyone, this will be the ruin of me! If anyone finds out, I'll be so shamed I'll have to move schools!" He can barely get through the sentence before we're both laughing._

_We fall into conversation so very naturally, it almost scares me. I don't connect with people like this. Before I know it, we've been talking, playing, singing, and laughing for two hours. When I catch view of the clock, I jump out of my seat and quickly start to collect my things._

"_Sorry, I really have to go." I apologize. He looks at the wall clock._

"_Whoa! Sorry, I didn't mean to keep you."_

"_That's fine, I enjoyed myself." We look at each other and smile as I take the stairs off the stage toward the doors in the back. _

"_Rachel, wait!" I hear him object when I'm about halfway down the center aisle. I turn as he jumps off the stage and jogs to where I'm standing._

"_Ok, so this sounds a little crazy but something inside of me is telling me to go for it, so I'm going out on a limb here." He runs his hands through his hair, apparently a nervous habit. "Can I have your number?"_

_I smile "I guess what they say is right, Coldplay really does work."_

"Coldplay really does work." I state to no one in particular into the big empty room. Not only was it the first time we met but one of the songs I used for my big audition for my acceptance into this school. I hope the music continues to bring that kind of luck.


	4. Chapter 4

As I walk along a random sidewalk on campus on my way back to my dorm, I reflect a bit on the past semester. It's mid-December now and I have just a few more days until I'm halfway done with my first year of college. It's been almost four months since I left my little hometown and everyone in it for the bright lights and big names in the city. And even though it's been a while, I have been doing my best to let it all go. Yes, loving and being loved by him was one of the best feelings in the world, but I know that playing for a packed house filled with adorers will feel even better. Yes, I still love him, but I understand now that I have to focus and I can't let anyone or anything stand in my way. I hear my phone buzz so I take a quick look at the number, answer it and walk and talk.

"Hey there cutie!" I exclaim as Kurt laughs on the other end.

"Well, someone's in a great mood."

"You know, I really am."

"And, it's about to get better, because I can currently see you."

"What?!" I exclaim as I approach my dorm building and see him standing out front. Before I know it I'm wrapped up in a huge hug and being spun around. I laugh and place my phone back into my bag.

"Have you had lunch yet?" He asks. Classic boy, only worried about the food.

"No, but I know just where to go." I take his arm and start to walk toward a restaurant just a few blocks from my dorm.

"So, what _are_ you doing here?" I begin the endless list of questions in my head.

"Well, the project is ahead of schedule, so boss gave us a little extra Christmas break." Kurt isn't in school, he's interning for this crazy secret film project that he's not even allowed to talk about, but he's working with these two huge filmmakers so he'll be able to go to any film school he wants next year. "So, I just had to come visit my favorite future piano star."

"Aren't we a pair, a future famous filmmaker and pianist?" He laughs.

"Don't worry, you can write all the music for all my movies." That throws me way off. And my face must instantly fall because Kurt can automatically tell.

"What?" he asks. I'm not looking at him, staring at my shoes instead.

"I don't write my own stuff, I mean, I'm just not that great at it." It's the most embarrassing to admit because pretty much everyone at school or any other music school writes their own stuff.

"But, didn't you have to write a piece for as part of your audition, and it was pretty great, I mean, they let you in, right?" I sigh, and answer in a voice barely louder than a mummer

"Finn wrote it." I sit down on a bench on the sidewalk, as the tears silently roll, trying not to be noticed. "I'm a fraud, he wrote it, and I can't write. I shouldn't even be here." I choke out. He leans against the back of the bench and stares into the trees behind us.

"Well, I must say that I'm impressed, that was a gorgeous score. I mean I knew he wrote some tunes sometimes, but that was next level." Then he turns his head to me, "And you, Rachel, little-miss-perfect, lied to the best music school in the country. I'm awestruck, yet impressed." He smiles.

"I've tried, it's just…nothing good comes out. Everyone says they get inspired from personal experiences, and you think with all the hell he put me through, I could write something…"

"The hell _he _put _you _through?!" he asks, taken aback and sounding suddenly bitter.

"Well, yeah I thought we were going to go to school together and have the whole happily ever after bit, but he-"

"He made you go to the best music school in the country which he helped you get into, what a terrible guy. Oh, no, he wanted you to live your dreams what a disgrace of a person."

"What are you saying; you're supposed to be on my side. You're my _best friend_. And you avoid him in public." I'm yelling at him.

"Well, if you didn't notice, he was my best friend long before he or I knew you, and I don't avoid him, I avoid you both whenever you're together!" That stops me.

"Wait, what?" By now I'm standing as we're both leaning over in each other's faces, only the bench keeping us apart. But I lean back at this statement and he comes around front to sit.

"Finn and I were inseparable for years, but then sophomore year comes around and suddenly he's got a new girlfriend, and don't get me wrong Rachel, I like you, I really do, but he wants to spend every waking moment with you and that didn't leave any time for me. So, yeah I hated you at first, super jealous that some girl took my best friend. Then he got all excited because he just knew me and you would be great friends, so I did it for him. I became friends with you only to try to spend more time with him and to get my best friend back." Now, I'm really crying.

"So, you're not really my friend."

"I didn't say that."

"Actually Kurt, you did, that's exactly what you said." I take off back to my dorm not daring to turn around. The tears gone and the anger setting in.

"And you know what?" I scream after him, "I have all the anger in the world to write with now!"

All the confidence it took so long to get back once again shattered. I've lost everything. My best friend, my boyfriend; I have no friends in New York, everything I had worked so hard for, gone. Well at least I finally have something to fuel my writing fire…maybe. As I enter my dorm building I pass a bulletin board filled with an array of colored flyers. Usually I can just pass by without a glance, but one white paper typed in elegant script catches my eye. I rip the flyer off the board.

"Perfect" I announce to the empty hallway with a smirk. This is just what I need.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Hey readers, just wanted to say that even though it's the end of the line for the show, it's not even close to the end of the line for our community. Everyone of you are 'part of something special'. This show still means everything to me and don't expect the stories to stop. Glee lives on in our hearts.**_

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The next three weeks are filled with nothing but me and only me trying to work some magic. I fill the empty practice room with the notes of a few of my favorites, hoping for inspiration to strike. I've never done anything even close to this, and it just doesn't seem even possible as I stare at the page in front of me, covered in empty bars. Then I glance into the empty room filled with empty chairs, just like my paper, they're just waiting for something to fill it. Suddenly, I realize just how alone I am, not even a crowd to impress; I don't even have my own ideas to keep my company. My mind wonders back to high school, when at least I thought I had it all together, the boy, the grades, the potential, it was all there, but somehow it all crumbled around me. I have no idea who I am. In high school, I was _his_ girlfriend, the piano player, but now…I don't know. My entire image of myself just crumbled before my eyes. I have no idea who I am, with or without him or anyone else. That's when the waterworks really begin, I've never cried so hard in my life, the tears shed for losing Finn and Kurt were only the opening number for this kind of sobbing. I had no idea I could even feel this much. Before I even know what's happening my fingers are slamming the keys in a combination that is nothing like I've ever heard, and it's great. Liberating, I'm finally free of myself. I repeat the chords again and again, every time feeling better, more like a person, letting go. This process repeats until I have about ten just-a-few-bar-pieces that sound nothing alike. Then it hits me, a rhapsody telling my story. From that nobody of a girl into the one suddenly feel like, still unsure yet confident, but been through so much. I play and rearrange until the lines in in the perfect order of events; opening with medium paced hesitant bars, into the heartbreak power chords, then the bold end to tie it all up. This is it, my story, my feelings, my score. Suddenly, I'm feeling much more like myself.

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It's a week before the big concert, but I'm not too worried, I know my piece is perfect and I know that the feeling of the crowd's awe is all I need. I'm attempting to come up with the perfect title for my piece, reading and listening to music, hoping some line will give me the perfect idea, when I hear a classical tune that my phone is emitting. I pick it up without even look at who it is.

"Hello?"

"Finally got that piece for that big concert done?" Kurt asks. Then it all hits me.

"You knew the whole time." It's a statement, not a question.

"Yeah, I had to do something to get you out of your own head."

"So, you started a whole fight with me, just so I could write something?"

"Guilty. Well, kind of. I really did hate you at first and I really did start talking to you for him, but he was right, we ended up friends."

"So, you aren't siding with Finn."

"Well, Finn did the right thing, but he probably could have taken a different route to get there." I sarcastically laugh. "So, do I get to hear it or what?"

"Can you make it here in a week?"

"For you? Anything."

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_**I love you all. We're going to be ok.**_


	6. Chapter 6

I hear nothing but the packed theater hushing as I step out onto the stage into the blinding stage lights. Brighter than any stage I ever experienced in high school, guess everything here really is bigger and brighter. But somehow all I can see is one figure standing in the back of the theater like they had just walked in. And he probably did just walk in because he had quite the drive. There he is, Finn, with Kurt beside him. All it takes is seeing him across the crowded theater and I can no longer hold in the memory I have spent all this time trying to suppress.

_It's the last day, the last day of freedom, of summer. The last day before the rest of our lives, tomorrow we leave for school. I know college is supposed to be this huge step in your life, but when you're going to be so close to your hometown and you get to bring your soul mate with you, I can already tell it's going to feel like home. Finn told me he has some kind of major surprise for me today, so we're in his car. But I'm blindfolded. I hate surprises and he knows that so this must be something incredible. _

_"__Please, Finn!" I whine a little, I can't help it, I really hate surprises._

_"__Rachel, I already told you, I'm not telling you." He responds a little annoyed. I have no idea what's been going on with him, he's been on edge all week. He hasn't been like this since right before we started hearing back from colleges. Suddenly the truck stops and he takes a deep breath._

_"__Ok, we're here." I pretty much rip the tie covering my eyes off only to see a train station. _

_"__We're going somewhere? Finn, we have to be back tomorrow." I'm turned in the passenger seat but he's still facing the front, refusing to look at me. The only response I get is a sigh and his hands running through his hair. That's when I know something's really wrong._

_"__Finn? Tell me-"_

_"__No. I have to be back tomorrow, you have to be at Julliard in just a few hours." I can't come up with anything to say back to him, but I try to spit out the question of how he found out._

_"__Your mom told me the second you said you weren't going, because we all knew why." He turns to me and takes my hand in both of his._

_"__I'm not going. Next year, you'll get in to NYU and we'll be together, but for now…"_

_"__Rachel, I know how you see me, but we have to face the facts, I'm that guy who peaks in high school. The one who gets some crummy job he hates in his hometown and never gets any farther than that. That's who I am, we can't change that. But you Rachel, you are the most beautiful, talented girl I have ever met and I can't let you hold yourself back because of me. I couldn't live with myself if I let you do that. You are going to achieve everything you have ever wanted but you have to let me go. You have to put your dreams first." The tears are pouring down my face about half way through his speech. _

_"__And if I can't let you go?" He sighs and closes his eyes, thinking._

_"__Then, we just have to believe that whatever is supposed to work out will." He opens his eyes and looks right into mine, as I stare right back, only seeing pure love in them. Between my sobs I manage to choke out, _

_"__What about you, what are you going to do?" I ask as he continues to stare at me like he can see right through me, and without missing a beat he has a perfect answer._

_"__I'm going to stay here and do everything I can to make myself deserving of you. And if it's meant to happen it will, ok?" I nod and he smiles, a few tears are creating wet trails on his face making it match mine. "So, you're getting on the train?" Of course he had to ask, even when he's trying to make me do something, he's having me make the final choice. This is it, he's putting the ball in my court, this is where I throw a fit and force him to take me home, because there is no way I'm leaving him. But as I look into his eyes that want me to go, want me to go live my life, I can't help but agree. Before I know it he's standing outside my opened door holding his hand out, and I take it into mine for the last time for a while. He pulls my duffel bag out from the back-seat of his truck. _

_"__Your mom packed it." He slings it over his shoulder and starts toward the station still holding my hand. But I don't move, I pull back on his hand and he falls back toward me a bit, turning to face me. Before he can say anything, I place my lips over his pouring all my love into it, the last kiss, as I feel him doing the same. I break the kiss, grab my bag from him and take a mad dash to the station never turning back. I can't go through the long goodbye without really losing it and probably saying things I don't mean so I run, I hear him yelling after me but I don't look back, and I know I can't ever again. I spend the entire train ride in tears._


	7. Chapter 7

_**Ok guys, this is the end! And it's a long one! Thanks to everyone who reviewed and liked, you guys are the best! I'm going to be doing some wedding themed one-shots and have the first one up, so make sure you check those out! I've loved this story and everyone of you who read! Thanks so much:)**_

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I hit the hardest run of my piece and I know that killed those bars, I had too; I poured every feeling I ever had with Finn into it. Plus he's here, so I had to show him that I could and did make it without him, that I can take care of myself. That I don't need him, but as soon as I lock eyes with him, I know I'm a goner. I've proved it to myself that I can do whatever I put my mind to, but whatever I put my mind to is better when he's there to celebrate with me. So I don't _need_ him, but man do I want him. And I guess that's what I needed to do, realize that even though I feel the way I do, I can do anything I want, because just me is enough. I sit backstage trying to get my emotions together before I have to face him, and before I know it the show is over and everyone is leaving and telling me how great I was as they pass. I tell them the same but I don't leave my seat, if he wants to talk to me, I'm going to make him wait. Once everyone is cleared out, I get up to face the unavoidable. I take my time descending the stairs on the side of the stage. All I see is him. Kurt must have decided we needed time to talk. As soon as I hit the bottom step he opens his mouth but nothing comes out, just like all the words on the edge of my tongue. So many of them want to come out, but I know if I open my mouth, all my thoughts from the last year with spill out in a jumbled mess. Which the opposite of what I've become.

"You look amazing." He breathes out, mouth still a bit dropped. I look down at the tight, black floor-length gown covered in sequins, suddenly not as confident. The awkward seconds tick by, but the second the words enter my brain, the confidence returns, I have the perfect thing to say.

"You were right." We both decide to begin simultaneously. We look at the other confused for a moment, but I compose myself quickly.

"What?" He runs his hand through this hair, which would put the old me on edge, but not anymore. He motions to the two theater seats closest to us and I sit.

He begins with a sigh, and then repeats himself, "You were right, I was a total idiot, I never should have made you go, that was totally uncalled for, it was your decision to make, not mine. I'm sorry I made it for you. We've gone through so much together, and I miss you so much, I fell empty without you, like something's gone."

The famous words of U2 enter my brain; _I have scaled these city walls, only to be with you. But I still haven't found what I'm looking for._ And it all makes sense, everything he ever did. He loves me, but we both needed more, we had to find out how we are without the other. He didn't just do this for me; it was for both of us. Before him, I was a nobody, few friends, just a prop in the world of high school. Then he entered my life and then I was _his _girlfriend. I was with him so long, he became my identity. That's why he did it; he knew that I had more to be than just his girl, and he knew he had to be more than the golden boy.

"No, you were right," I motion toward the stage "This is where I belong and I can't plan my whole life around one person, I had to do this for myself. You may have made my choice, but you made the right one."

"Well, you were amazing." He motions to the trophy I forgot was even in my hands. "But I already knew that you would be."

"Then why are you here?"

He's not looking at me anymore, "I guess I wanted to see if I could get lucky enough to get a second chance." He looks up at me at the end of his sentence and what I see in them isn't at all what I wanted to see. I was hoping for the love and longing I used to see, but it's just not there anymore, it's something else I recognize all too well. He looks lost; something that I know because I've seen it in the mirror way too often toward the beginning of the year.

"Finn," I begin softy and full of love "First, I'm saying what I'm going to say because I care about you and want what's best for you, just like you've always done for me," deep breath, "I know you're lost about what you're doing with your life, but you are an incredible guy, and you have so much ahead of you, you just have to figure out what that is. That's something I can't help you with, in fact that's something you have to do all on your own. I would know. You put me on that train because you knew that I had to be away from you to find out who I am without you. The last few years, I was _your_ girlfriend, but you knew that I was more than that and you knew that you had to put distance between us for me to figure all that out. And now you've come back, full circle. You claim that you're here to get me back, but I know that real reason."

He looks right into my eyes with his gorgeous brown watery ones and asks "And what is that?" his voice breaks a bit, opposite to the smile gracing his face.

"Recognition. You don't want me back, you want the feeling of being special back, and you aren't going to get that from getting back together with me. You have to find a way of being special without anyone else. But if you ever need to be reminded that you're the most amazing guy in the world all by yourself, I'd be happy to help." He stands and I follow suit, confused at what he's going to do next. Before I can even process that thought, he's got me wrapped up in a tight hug. I feel a bit of watery tears on my neck where his head is buried.

"You're right, thank you," He chokes out. I know now he's crying from the cracks in his voice.

"You're welcome, anytime you need me, you know my number."

"Thanks. You know, even though you're right about having to be by myself, I still love you."

"I love you too, always." We stand there for God only knows how long just wrapped up in each other's arms. While worried about the future and the uncertainty it holds, we'll just take in this moment just feeling and thinking and living in it. Just us. While yes, we need to find our way on our own, something tells me we won't have any problems finding our way back to each other, whoever we become.


End file.
